Assistant : Mr. Cox ? Guys, I need Cox. He goes on in two minutes and I can't find him. Mr. Cox. Mr. Cox ?
Sam : You're gonna have to give him a moment, son. Dewey Cox needs to think about his entire life before he plays.

Nate : What do you wanna be when you grow up, Dewey ?
Dewey : I don't know. Never really thunk about it before.
Nate : When I grow up, I'm gonna be a great composer. And a professional baseball player. Then I'm gonna be an astronaut, and I'm gonna go to the moon. There's nothing I won't do with this long, long life of mine.
Dewey : For sure.
Nate : That's what's great about being young. So much time to do great things.

Nate : Dewey !
Dewey : Nate !
Nate : I'm halved !
Dewey : Oh, we should've listened to Pa.
Nate : Dewey, I'm cut in half pretty bad. In case I don't make it, then you'll have to be double great ... for the both of us.
Dewey : Wow, that's a lot of pressure, Nate.

Docteur : This was a particularly bad case of somebody being cut in half. I was not able to reattach the top half of his body ... to the bottom half of his body.
Pa : Speak English, doc ! We ain't scientists.
Docteur : I'm sorry, folks. He's gone.
Ma : Oh, no ! Oh, my God. Dear God. Oh, Dewey.
Pa : It's all your fault, Dewey Cox.
Ma : Oh, Pa, you don't mean that. It's not his fault.
Pa : He cut him in half with a machete.
Ma : No.
Pa : You. You're not half the boy that Nate was. You're not even half the boy that the top half of Nate was ... after you cut him in half.
Dewey : So you're saying I'm less than a quarter of the boy Nate was ?
Pa : The wrong kid died.

Dewey : Hi. My name's Dewey Cox. And this is a little song I wrote called « Take My Hand » I sure hope you like it.
Pa : The wrong kid died, goddamn it.

Take (Take, take)
Take my hand (Take my hand)
We're gonna walk through the park
I promise to have you
Home before dark (Home before dark)
Oh, life would be so sweet
Walking with you down the street

Homme : This music is an outrage !

Come on and take my hand
(Come on and take my hand)

Prêtre : It's the devil's music !

It's all right if you're coy
After all I'm a boy
And you're a girl
But make no mistake
Yours is the hand
I want to take
So please (So please, please)
Take my hand

Pa : That's it. I want you out of this house, boy.
Ma : Pa !
Pa : You heard the preacher.
Prêtre : You think we don't know what you're talking about ... when you say « take my hand » ?
Dewey : What ? It's about holding hands.
Pa : You watch your mouth.
Prêtre : You know who's got hands ? The devil. And he uses them for holding.
Pa : I ain't got no room in my house for no devil's spawn.
Ma : Be careful. Before you say something you regret for the rest of your days.
Pa : Like what ? Like « the wrong kid died » ?
Ma : Oh, no ! No !
Dewey : It's okay. It's okay, Mama, settle down. Pa's right. Springberry ain't big enough for me no more. I reckon it's time for Dewey Cox to move on.
Ma : But you're only 14.
Dewey : Mama, I love you. But I don't need nobody. All I need is my music. I seen my path today, and I'm gonna take it. And someday, I'll make my masterpiece ... and you'll all be proud of me. Just like you were of Nate.

Pa : Well, then, go on. Get out of this house. Before I cut your dreams in half like you cut mine in half.
Dewey : Goodbye, Pa. Just wait till you see what happens now.

Dewey : Edith, I am starting to think ... that maybe you don't believe in me.
Edith : I do believe in you. I just know you're gonna fail.
Dewey : What are you talking about, Edith ?
Edith : What about my dreams ?
Dewey : Edith, I told you, I can't build you a candy house ! It will fall down ! The sun will melt the candy ! It won't work !

Edith : Dewey, you have got to give up your dream. Dreams don't come true.
Dewey : I am gonna make this dream come true. Nobody ever said it's gonna be easy. It's hard. It ain't easy to walk to the top of a mountain. It's a long, hard walk. It's a rocky road. But I plan on walking. Oh, I'm gonna walk. Hard. I will walk hard. Walk ... hard.

Patron du bar : I don't mean to put more pressure on you, boy. The suits from the record company just got here.
Dewey : Oh, okay.
Sam : Scared ?
Dewey : A little.
Sam : Well, you should be. Those Jews control show business. Just lay it down exactly like Bobby does.

Dewey : Good evening. We're Bobby Shad and the Bad Men. I'm Dewey Cox. Bobby Shad couldn't be here tonight so I'm gonna do his show for you. And I hope you enjoy it. This first song
we're fitting to do is ... Well, it's about ... It's about when your woman catches you. You know, she catches you running around town ... getting into all kinds of strange.
L'Chaim : This is racially insensitive.
Dewey : And she says, « Son, get your lazy, two-timing, Negro ass up out of here. » And you say to her ...
Femme : What's he doing ? You see that ?

You got to love your Negro man
You got to love your Negro man
You got to love your Negro man
You got to love your Negro man

You got to love, love, love

Bobby Shad : Is he playing « Negro Man » ?
Patron du bar : He is playing « Negro Man ».
Bobby Shad : He's playing « Negro Man » !
Patron du bar : He is playing « Negro Man ».

From early in the morning
Till late at night
You know I love your apples
Let me take a bite
You got to love your Negro man
You got to love your Negro man
You got to love, love, love, love, love
Your Negro man

Homme : Yeah, come on, Dewey.

I know I treat you wrong
And that ain't right
Let me put it on you, mama
And you'll feel all right
You got to love your Negro man
You got to love your Negro man
You got to love, love, love, love, love
Your Negro man
Hey !

Patron du bar : Now, that's what I call winning over an audience. Go, Dewey, go.

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine

Patron du Studio : What the hell is this ?
L'Chaim : Pizza pie. What's in a pizza pie ?

Bells will ring
Ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing « Vita bella »
Hearts will play
Tippy-tippy-tay

L'Chaim : Please, I can't anymore. [L'Chaim parle en hébreu]
Patron du Studio : That's what I was gonna say.

That's amore (Amoreeeeeeeeeeeee)
That is amore

Patron du Studio : All right. Hold, please. Stop that. Stop your singing ! Stop your singing this instant, young man ! I will not have this in my studio ! That's just a terrible, terrible ... terrible, terrible « That's Amore ».
Dewey : Maybe it was a wrong song choice ? If you just let me play one of my songs, I think you'll like it a whole lot better.
Patron du Studio : You have failed conclusively. It's over. And there is nothing that you can do ... here in this room that can turn that around. Nothing you can do that can make up for what you did to « That's Amore ».
Dewey : Well, my mother liked it a whole lot.
Patron du Studio : Your mother was wrong. I was willing to open my mind ... because these Jewish gentlemen brought you in here. They usually have good taste. And now here you are in front of me pretending you can sing. And I have to say that today ... your performance has shaken my belief in the Jewish people.
Dewey : Well, there's nothing I would like more, sir ... than to restore your faith in Judaism right now, if you could just give me that shot.
Patron du Studio : But I'll tell you, you have failed so far ... and if somehow you are able to sing a song now ... bringing these boys together you haven't even met ... and make something so personal, so new ... that the whole world takes notice ... and that your life is never the same again ... But I'm telling you right now, I don't think it's going to happen.
L'Chaim : Wait, wait, wait. We're here already. What could it possibly hurt ?
Patron du Studio : L'Chaim, I'll do it for you. But just one more song.
L'Chaim : All right.
Patron du Studio : All right, son. I'm gonna give you 15 more seconds.
Dewey : Thank you, sir. I hope you won't regret it.
Theo : Dewey, we don't know this song.
Dewey : You just follow me.
Dave : I don't know.

Walk hard
Hard

L'Chaim : Walk hard ?

Down life's rocky road
Walk bold
Hard
That's my creed
My code
I been scorned and slandered
And ridiculed too
Had to struggle every day
My whole life through
Seen my share of the worst
That the world can give
But I still got a dream
And a burnin' rage to live

Walk hard
Hard

Animateur radio : Here is America's new hit song « Walk Hard » ... recorded just 35 minutes ago by Dewey Cox.

Hard
Though they say
You're not the one
Even if you've been told
Time and time again
That you're always gonna lose
And never gonna win
You gotta keep that vision
In your mind's eye
When you're standin' on top
Of a mountain high

Jeune fille : He walks so hard !

How do I walk, boys ?
Hard

When I meet my maker
On my dying day
I'm gonna look him in the eye
And by God, I'll say
I gave my word
And my word was good
I took it in the face
And I walked as hard as I could

Dewey : I sang a song at a circus in New Jersey. They said, « We'll give you 5 grand. » I said, « No, you won't. You'll give me that giraffe. » And they did. They gave it right to me.
Dave : That is one beautiful giraffe.

Dewey : It'll just be a few weeks, Edith.
Edith : Who's gonna help me take care of the children ? Dewey, you have got to give up this dream. You're never gonna make it. Give it up, Dewey !
Dewey : What are you talking about ? I got a number one hit on the radio. I'm playing my music for people who wanna hear me. It's everything we always wanted, Edith.
Edith : I never get to see you anymore. Your kids never get to see you.
Dewey : I don't know how to tell you this. I'm gonna miss some things, okay ? I'm gonna miss some birthdays and some christenings. I'm gonna miss some births, period. Unrealistic to think I'm gonna be here every time you have a baby. But aren't you happy ? You have a beautiful new home. All your fancy new clothes and your monkey and your giraffe. Look, what else you need ? How about I get you ... a crow that could talk ? And I'll teach him phrases that I say. « Good morning, honey »

Dewey : Dang, Elvis Presley, you didn't have to rile them up like that.
Elvis Presley : What, now ?
Dewey : No, I'm ...
Elvis Presley : Excuse me, what ?
Dewey : I'm just saying, we gotta follow that and ...
Elvis Presley : Well, sometimes you have to go all out when you're the King. Because there's only one man who's the King. God picks him, hand-plucks him. One night, God looked down at all the
millions and millions of people, man ... and he decided which one was the best, and it was me. He plucked me from all those millions and millions of people, man.
Dewey : Yeah.
Elvis Presley : Listen to this, right now. There's two things you need to know. I'm the King. And number two is : Look out, man ! Look at that coming at you. You see that ? It's called karate and only two kinds of people know it. The Chinese and the King. And one of them is me.
Dewey : You're the King.
Elvis Presley : On to Memphis, they want a nice little honey and a little bit of June bug.
Dewey : Yeah?
Elvis Presley : Yeah ... Come on, man ... Look out, man !
Dewey : Well, thanks, Elvis.
Elvis Presley : Let's go. Come on, mama.
Dewey : What the fuck was he talking about ?

Sam : Get out of here, Dewey.
Dewey : What are y'all doing in here?
Sam : We're smoking reefer, and you don't want no part of this shit.
Dewey : You're smoking reefers ?
Sam : Of course we are. Can't you smell it ?
Dewey : No, Sam, I can't.
Femme : Come on, Dewey, join the party.
Sam : No, Dewey, you don't want this. Get out of here !
Dewey : I don't want no hangover. I can't get no hangover.
Sam : It doesn't give you a hangover.
Dewey : Will I get addicted to it or something ?
Sam : It's not habit-forming.
Dewey : Oh, okay, well ... I don't know. I don't wanna overdose on it.
Sam : You can't OD on it.
Dewey : It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it ?
Sam : It makes sex even better.
Dewey : Sounds kind of expensive.
Sam : It's the cheapest drug there is ... You don't want it.
Dewey : I think I kind of want it.
Sam : Okay, but just this once. Come on in.

Dewey : What happened ?
Pa : I'll tell you what happened. We were readying for bed when your song comes on the radio.
Ma : It's Dewey ! Your son is talented. You should be proud.
Pa : Well, I must admit, it is kind of ... catchy.
Ma : Dance with me, Pa.
Pa : It does make you kind of wanna move, doesn't it ?
Ma : It sure does.
Pa : Maybe I have been kind of hard on little Dewey.
Ma : Maybe you have.
Pa : Be careful, Ma. You all right, Ma ?
Ma : I'm all right.
Pa : The vertigo, it won in the end.
Dewey : She lost her balance ... and fell out the window ... and then the radio crushed her head ?
Pa : While she was dancing to your song. I thought you should know what your music does. It kills people. You made her happy and it killed her. If Nate was alive, this never would have happened. Wrong kid died.

Sam : Get out of here, Dewey.
Dewey : What are y'all doing in here ?
Sam : It's called cocaine, and you don't want no part of this shit.
Dewey : Cocaine ? What's it do ?
Sam : It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare.
Dewey : I'm thinking maybe I'd like to try me some of that cocaine.

Dewey : All right, again ! Faster !
Dave : This is crazy, Dewey. Ain't nobody gonna wanna listen to music like this. Standing there playing as fast as you can singing like some sort of ... punk.
Dewey : Don't you dare try to stifle me. Whose band is this anyway, you cocksucker ! I'll punch you in the mouth !

Darlene : Mr. Cox ? I heard you were looking for a new backup singer. For your new duet.
Dewey : You heard right.
Darlene : I was wondering if you might like to give me a try.
Dewey : I reckon I might.
Darlene : I've been singing in my church choir since I was a girl.
Dewey : I like the sound of that.
Darlene : Darlene Madison.
Dewey : Dewey Cox.

Hello, Darlene.
Hello, Mr. Cox.
You ready to sing one ?
I'm always ready.
Well, all right.

In my dreams you're blowin' me
Some kisses
That's one of my favorite things
To do
You and I could go down
In history
That's what I'm prayin' to do with you

Let's duet
In ways that make us feel good
Let's duet
And make that sacred sound

Dewey Cox ! I am not that kind of woman.
All right.
Well ... that doesn't mean that we still can't be friends.
Okay. Well, then, here's to us being great friends.
I can't ! We're friends !

I'm gonna beat off
All my demons
That's what lovin' Jesus' all about
Lookin' in your eyes I start believin'
Let's bring this whisper to a shout

Let's duet
In ways that make us feel good
Put two and two together
Perfect harmony we've found
We know it's only natural
Let's duet

I just wanna make out
What you're sayin'
Read my lips
It's what you're lookin' for
Here I am a-sneakin' up behind you
You can always come in
My back door

Let's duet ...

Dewey : I got a lot of pain in me, Darlene. You should know that.
Darlene : Where does all that pain come from, Dewey ?
Dewey : Did you ever have something that you really loved ... that you accidentally ... killed, or hurt in some way, with a machete ?
Darlene : No !
Dewey : No, me neither. Wouldn't that be terrible ?
Darlene : How would you live with yourself ?!
Dewey : I know, right ? Exactly.

Darling Darlene
Darling Darlene

I'm in love with you
I'm havin' fun with you
I'm in love with you
I'm on the run with you
I'm in love with you
And I'll be one with you one day

Darlene : Take my hand, Dewey. Let's promise to never, ever give in to our lesser desires. After all, we're not married.

Dewey : Edith, I can't be alone.
Edith : Maybe you should've thought of that before you got double married.
Dewey : Is that what this is about ? Don't you stand there and judge me like I'm some kind of criminal.
Edith : You are a criminal. This is illegal, Dewey.
Dewey : What do you mean ?
Edith : It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey.
Dewey : What about if you're famous ? Is that ... ? You never done nothing you shouldn't have done ?
Edith : What have I ever done ?
Dewey : You woke up in the middle of the night and drank the milk. I got up to have my cornflakes, there's none left.
Edith : Dewey, you cheated on me !
Dewey : So I'm a cheater, but you can just drink up all the milk. Okay. All right, that's fine, I get it. You're innocent, and I'm guilty. Guilty as charged. Guilty as charged ...

Sam : Get out of here. You don't want no part of this.
Dewey : What y'all doing in here ?
Sam : We doing pills, uppers and downers. They're the logical next step for you.
Dewey : I want some of that shit !

Dewey : Good morning, Your Honor. May I approach the bench ?

I don't give a damn
What anyone thinks
I stay up all night
And I smoke and I drink
I'm a wanted man
And I'm blowin' town
Don't waste your time
Tryin' to hunt me down
The cops are sayin'
I belong behind bars

And I'm guilty (Guilty)
I'm guilty as charged

Infirmière : Doctor ! Doctor !
Dewey : I'm so cold.
Docteur : We need more blankets !

Infirmière : We need more blankets ! Doctor !
Dewey : I'm so hot !
Infirmière : I think he has too many blankets.
Docteur : Fewer blankets !
Dewey : I'm hot and cold at the same time !
Infirmière : He needs more blankets and he needs less blankets.

Pa : Dewey, I don't know if you can hear me in there ... but the wrong kid died.

Journaliste : Some people are saying that your new music sounds a lot like Bob Dylan.
Dewey : Well, maybe Bob Dylan sounds a lot like me. How come nobody ever asks Bob Dylan : « Why you sound so much like Dewey Cox ? »

Mailboxes drip like lampposts in
The twisted birth canal of the coliseum
Rimjob fairy teapots
Mask the temper tantrum
Oh, say can you see 'em ?
Stuffed cabbage is the darling
Of the Laundromat
The mouse with the overbite explained
How the rabbits were ensnared

Theo : What the hell is this song about ?
Dave : I have no idea.
Sam : You guys are idiots. This song is very deep.

Inside the three-eyed monkey
Within inches of his toaster-oven life

All the elevator buttons
So incredibly high
I stand today for the midget
Half the size of a regular guy

Let me hold you, little man
As the parade passes by
Let me hold you, little man

We'll make believe you can fly
You shout for me to put you down
But I'm marching today
For your cause
I'm banging the drum
Your big day will come
When they remake The Wizard of Oz

So let me hold you, midget man
Pretend that you're flying in space
Let me hold you, midget man
So the dog will stop licking your face
Sing with me ! Sing it!

Dewey : Well, I have to say I like your stuff. It's pretty good. And most of your records, I really enjoy.
Paul McCartney : We're big fans of your records too. We like to think that « Hard Day's Night » is our « Guilty as Charged ».

Dave : You're almost as good as the Monkees. You guys are great.

Pa : You think you're so great sitting there all drugged up ... on your trampoline. You're the black sheep of this family. You call yourself a Cox. Until you get right with Jesus ... you'll never be nothing but a big, black Cox.

Dave : What the hell are these songs about ? You're singing about cutting people in half ... I'm working something out. It's called a metaphor.
Dave : Well, what are you working out ?
Dewey : It's secret. That's why it's called metaphor. That's what metaphor means. Secret.
Theo : I just don't see why you gotta throw away the recipe, is all. Why don't we just go in there, lay down some tracks like we always done ?
Dave : Yeah, why can't we just walk hard ?
Sam : What do we need all these people for ?
Dewey : I don't need people around me stifling me. So if you don't like it, there's the door.
Theo : Dewey ? Are you saying you don't need us no more ?
Dewey : Not unless you can open your mind and learn to play the fucking theremin.
Theo : Fuck you, Dewey !
Dave : Yeah, fuck you, Dewey. In 20 years not once have you thrown a woman my way. You don't think we like cheating on our wives too ?
Sam : And you never once paid for drugs. Not once!
Dave : You pay that chimp more than you pay us. I had to borrow from the chimp to get a mortgage on my house.
Theo : And those stupid Siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas ! I don't want any more Siamese glass cats !
Dewey : The Siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in ancient Egypt.
Sam : Fuck nobility !
Dave : Fuck ancient Egypt.
Theo : Fuck cats !
Sam : And you never paid for drugs. Not once.
Dave : You slept with my wife.
Theo : You slept with me too ! And I've had confused feelings about that for 10 years now !
Sam : And you never once paid for drugs. Not once.
Theo : You're on your own, Dewey Cox.
Dave : We're leaving.
Sam : Well, I guess this is the end of a chapter in your life, Dewey Cox.

Nate : I can't even smell, touch, feel. I can't even masturbate. You ever try to jerk off with a ghost hand ? Nothing !

Pa : The right kid is gonna die tonight.
Dewey : You've been practicing !

Pa : You know those three words you always wanted to hear, Dewey ? Well, here they are. I love ...
Dewey : You love what ? Pa, you love what ?! What was the third word ?! Come on, one more word ! No !

Dewey : I want all you fucking parasites out of my house ... right now ! I said, everybody out !
Patrick Duffy : Well, look at you, you arrogant cocksucker.
Dewey : How dare you.
Patrick Duffy : What happened to you, Dewey ?
Dewey : I don't know what's happened to me, but I know what happened to you. Patrick Duffy took a beating !

Dewey : You don't want this dirty old Cox.
Darlene : Oh, I want it more than ever.

Dewey : Did you wash your hair today ?
Darlene : I sure did. How could you tell ?
Dewey : It smells terrific. I smelt it.
Darlene : You mean ?
Dewey : I smelt it !
Darlene : Yeah.
Dewey : I can smell again ! I smelt it ! I smell you !
Darlene : Smell it.
Dewey : Oh, you've been driving me wild ! I smelt it ! I smelt it ! I smelt it, God !
Darlene : It's a miracle !
Dewey : I smell you, flowers. I smell you, twig. I smell horseshit ! It's horrible ! But I can smell it !
Darlene : Smell that shit, baby !

Dreidel : Anyway, as if that was not enough, they're giving Dewey the Lifetime Achievement Award next month.
Dewey : The Lifetime Achievement Award ?
Darlene : Baby, that's wonderful.
Dreidel : You go on TV, they give you the award, you play a song, it's a magical thing.
Dewey : I can't go on TV and play.
Dreidel : What ? Why not ?
Petit fils : Why, Grandpa ?
Dewey : Hell, I'm 71 years old. I don't even know if I can rock no more.
Darlene : Of course you can rock, sweetheart.
Dreidel : Of course you can rock, sweetheart.
Dewey : Well, I don't know that I can rock. And besides that ... I gave that life up for a reason. I'm afraid of the temptations, Darlene.
Darlene : You can do it, Dewey. I know you can. Just go out there and sing your song.
Dewey : I'm gonna need my band.

Fille : He fucked my grandma.
Autre fille : That's awesome.

Walking hard
I'm a real hard walker
Fast on the trigger
And a smooth talker
My guns pop out like a jack-in-the-box
I'll cut you in half like Dewey Cox

Walk hard
My skin stays scarred
You can ask God
Lots of ladies unsnapped they bras
Ask Lyle Lovett
I had sex on Mars
That's how we do it
When we walk hard

Walk hard
How do I walk ? Hard as a stone
How do I walk ? Hard like a bone
Walk hard
How do I walk ? Like a jackhammer tool
How do I walk ? Harder than Jewel
Tell me how we walk
Hard, hard, hard, hard

Dewey : Sam. What are y'all doing in here ?
Sam : Dewey, get out of here. You don't want no part of this shit.
Dewey : What is it ?
Sam : It's a medication for erectile dysfunction. It gives you a boner. Not to be used if you have a heart condition. If boners last for more than four hours, call more ladies.
Dewey : Well, that does sound tempting. But do you know what, Sam ? I really don't want no part of that shit.
Sam : Did you hear what I said ? It gives you a boner !
Dewey : Hate to let you down, old friend ... but I don't wanna succumb to the temptations.

Now that I have lived
A lifetime's worth of days
Finally I see
The folly of my ways
So listen when I sing of
The temptations of this world
Fancy cars and needles
Whiskey, flesh and pearls

And then in the end
It's family and friends
Loving yourself
But not only yourself
It's about the good walk
And the hard walk
And the young girls you've made cry
It's about make a little music
Every day till you die
It's a beautiful ride
(Beautiful ride)
A beautiful ride
(Beautiful ride)
Beautiful
Beautiful ride

As I stand on the precipice of death
My perspective is enormous
Every leaf, every cloud
I see the hands
Which have formed us
And some days all you got
Is a nighttime graveyard walk
And you whistle some sweet melody
To the ghosts down at the dock
Sing into your hand
Lead the marching band
Don't you let 'em fade
Your colors gray
'Cause when all is said and done
When youth is spent and burned
You'll see that it's all about
Music
Flowers
Babies
Sharin' the good times
Travelin' not just for business
Accepting your mortality
This is finally what I've learned

And then in the end
It's family and friends
Loving yourself
But not only yourself
It's about the good walk
And the hard walk
And the young girls you've made cry
It's about make a little music
Every day till you die
It's a beautiful ride
(Beautiful ride)
Beautiful ride
Beautiful
Beautiful ride
(Beautiful ride)
Beautiful ride
Beautiful
Beautiful ride