Gord [Imitant la voix de X-Ray Cat] : Hi, hi, hi, hi. I’m X-Ray Cat, I’ve got super powers. I can see

through wooden doors with my X-Ray Vision. Wooden doors. I can see the criminal on the other side. He can’t see me, and he’s committing crime. I come along and say “I can see you !”. He says “You can’t !”. I say “Yes, I can with my …Tit it tit it it it tit it ... X-Ray ... X-Ray Cat ! Tit it tit it it it tit it”. “You can’t get me ! You can’t get me !”. “Yes, I can ! Yes, I can ! ... Tit it it Tit ... Yes, I can ! Yes ...”. The bananas. I know a banana who applied for a job as a telephone repairman. Guy came and said “You want a job, here ?”. And he said “Yeah, I wanna get a job.” he said to the repairman. “You got the job ! You got the job, buddy !”. And then the beavers came. The beaver started yelling at the other beaver. The beaver started yelling at the other beaver, he said “You stupid beaver !”. “You stupid ...”

Jim : You’re not taking that bus to Los Angeles.
Gord : You bought me a ticket on this bus to Los Angeles.
Julie : That’s not all we bought you. Hahahaha
Jim [Montrant une voiture] : There. It’s yours. Hop in ! Come on, you’re driving.
Gord : It’s a ... It’s a LeBaron.
Jim : You bet your boots, it’s a LeBaron. Good car : convertible.
Gord : Jeez. A convertible. It says “#1 SON” on the license plate. That’s me ! I’m the number one son !
Freddy : What about me, mom ?
Julie : You’re number one son, too.
Freddy : Then how come Gord gets a LeBaron and I don’t ?
Gord : Because they love me more than they love you.
Freddy : No. No. No, they don’t.
Gord : Oh yeah ? I only see one LeBaron, Freddy. I don’t see two Lebarons.
Julie : Gordy ...
Gord : Do you see two ?
Jim : Knock it off.
Gord : Where’s your LeBaron, Freddy ? Where’s your LeBaron ?
Julie : Boys ! Boys !
Gord : How many LeBarons are there ? Are there two LeBarons ?
Freddy : Shut up !

Jim : You make your daddy proud. You hear me ?
Gord : I’m gonna make you proud, daddy. I’m gonna make you so proud.
Jim : Make your daddy proud.
Gord : You’re gonna be so proud.
Jim : Proud ?
Gord : Proud.

Gord [masturbant un cheval] : Look at me, daddy ! I'm a farmer !

Gord : Look at me. I’m sexy. I’m a sexy boy. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong.

[Le portail de sécurité se met à sonné]
Le vigile : Can I help you ? Excuse me. Can I help you ? Excuse me.
Gord : It’s Ok. I’m here for the with the bag.
Le vigile : The bag ?
Gord : The bag for the eels.
Le vigile : What ?!
Gord : For the badger, the badger. [Montrant le sol].
Le vigile : What ? What ? Hey ! Hey ! What are you talking about ? Are you here for a delivery ?
Gord : Japan 4. Japan 4.
Le vigile : Japan 4 ? ... Japan 4 ???

Gord : I’ve got the package you guys ordered.

La réceptionniste : Wait, wait, wait. Who’s it for ?
Gord : It’s smudged. I can really only make out « Boss».
La réceptionniste : You mean Mr. Davidson ?
Gord : Peter Davidson ?
La réceptionniste : Dave.
Gord : Dave Davidson, yeah ! Dave Davidson ! Yeah ! See, that part was really smudged, Ok ? You said Dave Davidson, then it triggered into my brain. You know how that happens ? He’s the head guy ?
La réceptionniste : Yes.
Gord : You mean, so if you wanted to get a TV show based on your animations, he’s the guy to talk to ?
La réceptionniste : Yes.
Gord : Ok. He has brown hair ?
La réceptionniste : Blond.
Gord : Blond hair ? I’m looking for someone who is blond. Blond hair. Are you blond ? Are you a blond ? The blond ...
La réceptionniste : He’s at lunch, so I’ll take the package.
Gord : He’s at lunch ? His wife is dead.
La réceptionniste : What ? Linda ?
Gord : Yeah, yeah, Linda. She’s dead.
La réceptionniste : Oh, my god.
Gord : So I should tell him. Probably best I tell him.
La réceptionniste : Who are you ?
Gord : I’m ... I’m Quincy. I’m with the Coroner’s Office. I’m like a police officer. I’m like a police officer. So I should see Mr. Davidson because I’m a police officer.
La réceptionniste : Ok, I ... He’ll be at that restaurant. He’ll be devastated.
Gord : Ok ...
La réceptionniste : God, he loved Linda.
Gord : He did love Linda.
La réceptionniste : I know.
Gord : You know, I think it’s wonderful when two people love one another, and even thought there’s a chance one of those two people will die a horrible death, that doesn’t make me fear love. I’m not afraid of love. Could I be your boyfriend ? I love you.
La réceptionniste : Get outta here !
Gord : No, no, no, no, I was just thinking ...
La réceptionniste : A woman is dead. Linda, is dead !
Gord : I thought we could grieve together over the dead Linda, over the dead woman ! Over the woman !
La réceptionniste : Fuck off ! You’re a skinny loser ! Someone call Security !
Gord : Don’t ... don’t call them; Ok ? I gotta go.

Dave : Listen, you tell Hanna-Barbera to go fuck themselves, Ok ? I’ve got twelve Korean teenagers in a tiger cage that can draw a fucking dog wearing a cape.

Gord : Ok, I’m looking for a Mr. Dave Davidson. Are you Dave Davidson ?
Un homme : No.
Gord : Ok, are you Dave Davisdon ?
Un autre homme : My name’s Peter.
Gord : I’m looking for a Dave Davidson. Dave Davidson ?
Une femme : I’m a woman.
Gord : Ok, did I ask what sex you are ?
Une femme : No.
Gord : Ok, did I ask if you were Dave Davidson ?!

Gord : “Get inside the animals.”.

Jim : Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, Christ. Oh, God. Get him a job !
Gord : What ?
Jim : Get him an ambulance ! You get a job ! He’s got a job.

Gord : Wow. Are hospitals always this fun ?
Betty : No. Sometimes ... Sometimes people here die of cancer.

Gord : No way. Are those actually rockets ?
Betty : Yeah, I’m designing a rocket-powered wheelchair.
Gord : Really ? That’s incredible. Does it work ?
Betty : No. No, I haven’t been able to quite figure it out yet.
Gord : Don’t you feel like a stupid dummy ?

Betty : Besides, they don’t let me work on it at the hospital because of the politics : they don’t think handicapped people should go fast, but I think it’s bullshit, because I like going fast and I like rockets, because they’re hot ... and hard ... and long.

Gord : That’s my umbilical cord.
Betty : Didn’t you ever have that removed ?
Gord : It’s taped. It’s just for fun. I taped it there for fun.

Jim : Jeez, is that idiot still in the shower ? Shit, how much water is he gonna use ?
Freddy [Rigolant tout seul] : Yeah, how much is he gonna use ? All of it ? He should save some for the fish, huh pop ?

Jim : What the fuck is going on ?
Gord [Tenant un savon à la main] : I’m underwater. Look, I found a treasure !
Jim : A treasure ? That’s soap on a rope.
Gord : Sssssshhhhttt, I’m pretending it’s a treasure.
Jim : Get out of my goddamn scuba gear, you imbecile.
Gord [Qui vient de faire tomber le savon dans les toilettes] : Oh no ! The treasure ! It went into that underwater cave !
Jim : Get out of that toilet ! Get up and get out of that toilet !
Gord : Father, you saved me from the giant barracuda ! But, look, I salvaged the treasure ! We can live like kings ! We can live like kings !!!

Freddy : It’s time for you to grow up. Good luck with that job hunt, Ok ?
Gord : All right, let’s cross our fingers. Ok, Freddy ? Let’s cross our fingers and hope I get a job. I’m serious. Just cross your fingers. All right. Fingers crossed. I hop I get a jobbie, Freddy. I got my fingers crossed. I hope I get a jobbie, I got my fingers crossed.
Freddy : Goodbye, Gord.
Gord : I got my fingers crossed. Crossed. Crossed. Cro ... ssed.

Gord : I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. The backwards man, the backwards man. I can walk backwards fast as you can, I can walk backwards fast as you can. I’m the backwards man, the backwards man ...
Jim : What the hell is that ?
Gord : I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. I can walk backwards fast as you can, I can walk backwards fast as you can …
Jim : Gord !
Gord : Dad ?!
Jim : What in God’s name are you doing, you stupid little man ? Wait ... Did you get a job ?
Gord : Yeah. I got a job and I wantet to surprise you.
Jim : Hey, you bullshitting me, boy ?
Gord : No, I got a job working nights at a computer company. And I was borrowing one of your suits till I could get enough money to buy one of my own.
Jim : Are you kidding ? You can keep that suit. Oh Gord, I knew you had it in you. You’re just a late bloomer, that’s all.
Gord : Yeah, I just bloomed late. Hey, can I borrow 50 bucks or something ? You know, for supplies. For, like, pens or Liquid Paper or a Trapper Keeper or one of those little compasses, you know that you put the pencil in and you can make a circle, a perfect circle, I mean a perfect circle ...
Jim : Hey worker, take a hundred. Golly Gord, I knew if I kept yelling at you, pounding you over the head with it, you’d come around.
Gord : Golly Dad, You were right all along. Come on. Come on. Come on. No, no, no.
Jim : Just keep dancing, celebrate. Hell man, this is a great day !
I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. I’m the backwards man, the backwards man ...

Gord : This is the second date we haven’t gone out on yet, and if you do what you planned in doing this again, you’ll have sucked 200% more times that we’ve gone out on dates. And I just think if we went out on at least one date and you didn’t do any sucking right know, that’d make the whole sucking-to-date ratio far more balanced, you know ?

Gord [Simulant un appel téléphonique] : Bob ?! Speak up. I’m on my cellular phone. I don’t care Bob, you’re fired. You’re fired ! You’re fucking fired, Bob ! Clean out your locker at the club, Bob. You’re fucking fired ! Patterns. I don’t fucking care what he told you, Ok ? I’m talking about 40 million fucking Deutschmark here, Bob ! 40 million fucking Deutschmark ! I told you to wire the money to Geneva last week ! I say Geneva, you hear Helsinki, huh ?! 40 million fucking Deutschmark, Bob !!

Jim : Wait a minute. You’re a cripple.
Gord : Dad.
Betty : Wha ... what ?
Gord : Dad.
Betty : You got a problem with my legs ?
Jim : No, you’ve got the problem with your legs. Either that, or you’re just lazy.

Gord : He’s such a stupid loser.
Julie : He’s not stupid.
Gord : We shouldn’t put up with the way he treats us. If I were you, I wouldn’t stand for it. If I were you, I would show him that I derserve respect. If I were you, I would go out. I’d have sex.
Julie : Honey, no
Gord : If I were you, I’d go out. I’d have sex with strange men. I’ have sex with basketball players. I’d have sex with Greeks. Men from Greece. I’d satisfy my urges. I’d satisfy my sexual desires.

Jim : I don’t give a rat’s ass what this punk wants. As long as he lives in my house and eats my food, I make the rules.
Gord : I wanna eat chicken burgers !
Jim : You prick !
Julie : Jim, don’t hurt my baby. Now, sit down.
Jim : You’re an embarrassment to my family.
Gord : Oh yeah ? Well, at least I don’t touch Freddy.
Jim : Say what ?
L’assistante sociale : Excuse me ?
Gord : Yeah, he touches my little brother. He takes him down behind the furnace and touches him in his pants.
Jim : See the insanity I put up with ?
Gord : He’s embarrassed.
Julie : Jim.
Gord : He touches my little brother ... He ... He ...  He fingers him.
Jim : You’re a goddamn liar.
Julie : Jim, do you touch him ? Do you finger our boy ?

Gord : You hear that, Dad ?! You’re gonna pay ! He’s a molester ! He’s a chiiiiilld molester !

Gord : Fuck you, Dad.
Jim : Fuck me ?
Gord : Yeah, fuck you.
Jim : Do you wanna fuck me ? Is that what you said ?
Gord : What ?
Jim : Do you want to fuck me ? Huh ? All right, Gord. Come on over here and fuck me. Come on, Gord. Get your ass over here and fuck me. Just stick it right in here.
Gord : Put your ass away.
Jim : Here. Your sketches, here.
Gord : Holy shit, dad. What are you doing ?
Jim : Why don’t you come on over here and fuck your daddy ? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck daddy ! Hey ! Hey !

Un garcon : You got fingered ?
Freddy : No. Ok ?
Un garcon : It’s Ok. I know.

Gord : Sir, although I respect your authority here at Submarine Supreme and I admire your position of power, I regretfully am going to have to again bow out of the sandwich industry because in reality, I am an animator. I’m an animator ! Ok ?

Gord : It’s a classic fish-out-of-water story, except it’s not fish, it’s zebras ... out of water.

Gord : I have a bag of jewels for you.
Betty : Gord, what ... ?
Gord : They’re jewels, Betty. They’re jewels. I got them all for you.
Betty : But Gord, I don’t care about jewels. I just wanna ... I just wanna suck your cock.
Gord : Do you ? Do you really mean that, Betty ?
Betty : Yes Gord. Even if you were poor, I’d still just wanna stay home and ... and suck your cock.